The original title for my blog was “Seeking [God] and Stumbling a bit Along the Way.” This post explained my thought process for that title:
I wonder if some of you are upset about the [God] in my blog title. Some of you may be bothered by the brackets [ ], while others may be uncomfortable with the word God. Maybe you are thinking, “Why would you put God in brackets? That seems sacrilegious. It should be Seeking God, no brackets.” Or “Why would you even put God out there? Why can’t it just be Seeking? Why does everything always have to be about God?”.
For me, everything is about God, but I didn’t always know that. So when I started ‘seeking’, which was probably about the same time I started breathing, I didn’t know I was seeking God. So what was I seeking?
My True Self
My True Source
The desire to find these things was very strong. Sometimes all-consuming. Sometimes overwhelming. I sought these things in many different places and in many different people. And when I didn’t find them, I was heartbroken and empty. Frustrated, and at times hopeless. Why would the world talk of these things if they were not available? Why would my heart ache for these things if they were not attainable?
And then I became pregnant with my first child. And I experienced profound love in a way I had never experienced it before. I sensed God’s presence. And from that Presence, I got a taste of the strength and peace I had been craving. Then I craved these things even more. Now that I knew they truly existed, I pursued them even more intensely. The closer I drew to God’s presence, to God, the more I received what I had been searching for. Now I know with all my heart that what I seek is God. But that is not my whole journey.
I have stumbled. I will stumble. And maybe you are seeking, but you don’t know what you are seeking. Maybe you’ve had a glimpse and you are craving more. Maybe you are stumbling too. Maybe we can seek and stumble together.
What are you seeking? [ ]
Dear [God], my [Love], my [Truth], my [Wholeness], my [Peace], my [Serenity], my [Wisdom], my [Joy], my [Purpose], my [Strength], my [True Self], my [True Source] –
Thank You for the opportunity to seek You. And thank You for allowing me to find You. Thank You for the journey. Thank You for the stumbles, as they always cause me to draw closer to you. Thank You for your patience as I seek in all the wrong places and in all the wrong people. Thank You for your continued guidance as I seek You as my One True Source.
You will seek Me and find Me when you seek me with all your heart.